Ultrasound report

Baby appears to be ok... The ultrasound tech said she couldn't find anything wrong with the spine/heart/head/hands (curled up hands are a bad sign) but that she couldn't get perfect angles bc the baby refused to assume the proper position, then decided it would be a laugh riot to cover it's face with it's hands for the duration of the sonogram. At least I think that's the upshot. The ultrasound tech had such a heavy accent that it's anyone's guess what she was actually trying to convey. Witness this exchange...

ESL ultrasound tech (heretofore known as ESLUT): "How big is your body?"

MM: "What?!" I'm quite aware that I've overdone it on the Cheet0s. Thank you so much for pointing that out, bitch.

ESLUT: "Your body. How big?"

MM: "Huge! You can't tell just by looking at me?"

ESLUT: "No."

MM: "Well, I've gained about 10 lbs... so add that to my original weight of (REDACTED TO PROTECT THE MORTIFIED)... you do the math."

We went on like this for another five minutes until Mr. Limbo finally caught on. "MM, she wants to know how BAD the SPOTTING is."

ESLUT: "YES! YES! How big your body?"

D'oh.

We left things on a cautiously positive note. ESLUT reiterated that she thought everything was OK but would have the head of the OBGYN ultrasound dept look at the sono pics and then call me to confirm. Of course that was three days ago and I'm still waiting for that call or at least a call back from Dr. TV, who has the world's worst front office staff. They never give her the messages. Or so she says. Oh how I miss RE #3, who not only took the initiative to check in on ME (ME!) when he sensed I was getting nervous but who always, always returned my calls promptly. Anyway... will continue to harass both doctors today so that I can (hopefully) relax a bit until the anatomy scan in roughly two weeks. Have a great wknd, everyone. I'm off to eat Cheet0s.

Comments

[DD]

OK. That's a HUGE language barrier going on with Eslut. How big is your body was how bad was the spotting?!

I'm very happy to hear that things look good. I'm sure your doctor would've called right away if something looked questionable. No news is good news.

[beagle]

Too funny . . . glad everything is good with baby.

[fisher queen]

I'm happy to hear all is well, though wish they'd call you back sooner just to ease your nerves.

[Leggy]

Glad to know all is okay.

[Kath]

Oh for heaven's sake. You'd think more or less getting your message across would be, like, important for an ultrasound tech. Sheesh! I'm glad, though, that all looks well.

(Dr. TV never gets her messages? Weak. Very weak.)

Enjoy your Cheet0s!

[elle]

OMG, that is both funny and scary. Good thing your translator was there. Hope you get a call soon, but I'm guessing no news is good news.

[Pamplemousse]

Eslut!! Chortle.

Lets assume the best for now, kay?

[Portlairge]

This cracked me up! What's your due date again. Mine is October 6th.